127 Pitches and a Butcher Boy
By Ooooooh-baldo
When I step on the mound, I chop up hitters like bok choi
I got 127 pitches and a butcher boy
We just took 8 straight and we be feelin’ great
And foes be Ichirollin’ in from the Evergreen State
So now I’m takin’ the mound, I’m gonna dominate
And I be conquering hitters like Alexander the Great
When you be at the plate, I will intimidate
Have you feelin’ so nervous like you was on a blind date
To all the fans in the stands that had to pay at the gate
I’m gonna make all y’all love me cuz I ain’t no Bonnie Raitt.
I’m takin’ total control, like an Orwellian State
My stock be soarin’ higher than the unemployment rate.
When hitters step in the box, they best be sayin’ a prayer
Cuz my stuff be crazy nasty and it just ain’t fair
You may be havin’ girl problems cuz you got no hair
But if you baldo you should just pick up some Hair-Be-There
When I’m on the mound I be lookin’ to seek and destroy
And when I’m at the plate I’m busting out my quality decoy
I’m faking the bunt and then I’m driving in Troy
I got 127 pitches and a butcher boy.
127 pitches and a butcher boy
When I step on the mound, I chop up hitters like bok choi
I got 127 pitches and a butcher boy
Hit me
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Tags: Butcher Boy, Colorado Rockies, Ubaldo Jimenez
12 Responses
Abreana June 13th at 7:36 pm
Wow, I love it! That’d be great to rap to.
Scott June 13th at 9:35 pm
To the tune of Jay-Z’s 99 Problems.
Kylie June 14th at 9:31 am
thats awesome!!!!
mtc June 14th at 11:23 am
A) This ought to be a regular feature
B) Scott should perform this on the podcast, over Ted beat-boxing.
Abreana June 14th at 2:28 pm
Yeah, I hands down agree!!!
Kylie June 14th at 5:36 pm
yes! please do! i would love to hear that!
Lauren June 14th at 6:54 pm
Scott, your mother must be so proud! I think a Pulitzer/Latin Grammy is in your future.
Scott June 14th at 7:06 pm
Just for the record, if you haven’t clicked on the “seek and destroy” link, you are missing out on some hilarious stuff.
Scott June 15th at 8:55 am
Eleven in a row
Can’t stop the Rox flow
We takin 11 mo
Fo sho, fo sho!
Kylie June 15th at 10:03 am
was at the game yesterday! it was amazing to see the rockies sweep the mariners, including yummy cheap tacos today!! it was fun to see the players standing on the field looking at the thunder/funnel clouds in the sky. at one point spilly was pointing at the sky and fowler turned and looked up and pointed to. it was rele cool!
i love watching the rockies all the time (especially when they win) but i think them not scoring a whole bunch of runs (5 runs, etc.) shows this isnt a fluke where their hitting is just on. they can keep it close and play good baseball to prove they dont need to slug 10 runs to win a game or start a winning streak
Scott June 15th at 10:18 am
One of the things that I have loved about this streak is that the Rockies are winning in all different kinds of ways. They have games where they dominate. They have games that the just eek out. They have come from behind. They have almost blown leads but managed to hold on. They’ve proven that they can win in just about any situation and that they can do it against good teams. It’s not like they’ve been beating the Nats, D-backs, and Pirates in these series. The only thing we haven’t seen is the Rox go down big early in a game and have to come back from far behind, but that’s only because the starting pitching hasn’t allowed that to happen. They have been awesome.
But with all the reason to celebrate, I’m bummed that Buchholz is going to miss the rest of the season. I was really looking forward to him coming back and having that comfort level that if we have a lead in the 8th, we’re going to get that lead to Street in the 9th. I like what Daley has done so far, but he hasn’t done it for a full season like Bucky has.
Abreana June 15th at 3:47 pm
I’m disappointed about “Bucky,” too. It’s a shame that players get injuries that take them out the whole year. I’m still upset that we won’t see Francis for the rest of this season. I miss that kid. When I started following the Rockies summer of ‘07 (no, I haven’t been a fan for very long), Jeff Francis was the first player I could name on the team.