Flaming Mose (BotM: July 2009)

I have to say, even though I was rooting for Todd (well, I’m ALWAYS rooting for Todd), I’m glad Chaddy Boy got his due… especially as he seems to have been traded to the Yankees mere moments after he was awarded BotM. There are two possible explanations for this, as I see it. Either the Yankees saw his award as just the element they needed to make him an attractive trade candidate, or the Padres knew how much you would resist giving the award to a member of the Yankees organization, and thus waited until he was named to authorize the trade. Thoughts?

Ooh, missed the bit about the Yankees trade! As the Yanks are my other team (long story–PLEASE don’t throw things…), that means I’ll get to see him that much more often.

Oh no! The Yankees organization is a death camp for facial hair! Chad’s beard, in any form, will certainly be missed. I suppose it’s a good thing we gave his chinstrap July BotM honors, as Chad’s goatee was still around to receive the honor. We might not have had a chance to say goodbye, but at least the beard knew how we felt about it before it left this world.

Oh…Lauren, while the news already has you depressed: I’ve got more rain for your parade. Todd shaved his cheeks this week. Somehow Scott and I managed to overlook that fact when we had our lengthy discussion based entirely on the premise that Todd keep his full beard for the month of August. I guess we were still in denial.

The Yankees don’t allow beards + Ted refuses to grow a beard = Ted is a Yankee?

Ted, I think the only way to prove otherwise is to grow a beard.

As usual, Scott, you miss the point. The Yankees strip players of the freedom to express themselves via beard. I choose to express myself with my handsome — and, at the moment, very stubbly — face. By denying me that freedom, you are almost as bad as the Yankees. I say almost because nice beard.

Sorry Ted, but I feel you have forced my hand to expose the truth. You don’t choose to express yourself by exposing your face. You choose a lack of self-expression by doing whatever your girlfriend says, which includes not having a beard. Are you dating a Steinbrenner?

That’s exactly it though: I CHOOSE a lack of self-expression. It’s not like I signed a binding contract with another girlfriend and then got traded to this one. Chad and his beard were minding their respective businesses when BAM! the cruel invisible hand of baseball’s semi-free market swatted their freedom away.

Also, for suggesting I would date a Steinbrenner you have earned 1 punch to the stomach!

Ugh, what is this strange sensation I’m feeling? I’m… disappointed… in Todd. I don’t like it, I don’t like it one bit.

Let me second the call for Ted to bring out the Big Red Beard again. Whenever I’ve gotten on a few days without shaving, I’ll see a few reddish twinkles glimmering through the stubble and have visions of a lush red beard adorning my face in a few weeks time. Alas it never comes to pass, as those too-few auburn gems are soon lost from sight amongst the tangle of black and brown, and the best I can manage from there is a weak imitation of the Beard Marquis. The moral of the story: red facial hair is an awful thing to squander. Also, I have an almost decade-long track record of annoying the hell out of Ted’s girlfriend, so I would feel obliged to advocate the return of the beard even if it wouldn’t be so gloriously red.

By the way, that was a really good podcast yesterday. I was getting a little nervous you weren’t going to acknowledge how awesome the bullpen was despite the Rox having lost 2 of 3, but indeed, you nailed it at the very end of the series recap. I particularly enjoyed Scott’s quip about the bullpen WHIP still being higher than Barmes BA, even though on further consideration this was not so stunning.

Debating a trip down to Coors Monday to see the DLR in action. I think I might have to buy a single-use White Sox cap to go along with my Helton tee just to stick it to the Cubbies faithful who will inevitably be turning out (though how faithful can you be if you’ve moved to the DNV? for example, if the Whalers were still in Hartford, I’d have never left CT and would currently be crying myself to sleep about tonight’s Abomb from Arod…which I suppose just goes to shows I’m much more faithful to hockey teams than baseball teams). And along with the fact that I am a huge Ozzie fan, I’d still be pretty well color-cooridnated.

Word has just reached me that Spilly, mere moments ago, unveiled a new facial hair arrangement. By the description I’ve received, it sounds amazing. Is it sad that I’m now considering spending the $40 to buy MLB.TV for the rest of the season?

Ummm… Nope, Lauren. I think it’s a great idea. The last two months of baseball are some of the most exciting… or most depressing. If I lived in NZ, and couldn’t watch the Rockies games, I’d spend 40 bucks for MLB.TV.

Mike, I think the White Sox hat is a good investment. Not only do the Cubs come to Denver once every year, that hat would also really improve your Dr. Dre costume.

Lauren, words can’t possibly convey how amazing Spilly’s current beard is. It would certainly be worth the investment in MLB.tv just to see it, but I assume it’s only a matter of time before there are enough image-filled Spilly fan sites out there to get you your fix for free.

It is quite remarkable. I texted Ted the moment I saw Spilly with his awesome new look.

In case anyone is wondering, this week’s song will go up at some point today (Monday) to coincide with the new episode that we record tonight.

And by new episode tonight, I mean new episode tomorrow. The game ends a little late for us to record an episode tonight, but I’ll try to get the preview of the Pirates series up this evening.

Yeah, MLB.TV needs to be purchased. There’s no reason that just because I’m in a strange, foreign land I need to deprive myself of Spilly’s Beard.