Posts tagged ‘Beard of the Month’

A tip of the hat and a stroke of the ’stache are due to Taylor Tankersley, the Florida Marlins reliever who takes May’s Beard of the Month honors.  I could provide some rambling description about how amazing his mustache is, but (as usual) just look at that thing!  The man’s face is art, bro!

My only discomfort with May’s BotM is that I’m left with conflicted feelings about the Marlins.  On the one hand, Scott and I were thrilled that the Marlins used their own website to call attention to a great mustache.  Not only does it set an excellent precedent for facial hair promotion in sports, but it also makes BotM selection much easier for a couple of extremely lazy dudes.  So thanks for that, Joe Frisaro of MLB.com.  On the other hand, the article mentions a very disturbing policy the Marlins have forced on their players: “The Marlins have a facial hair policy. Goatees and ’staches are allowed, if they are well groomed.”  I can see how it would make sense for a team in South Florida to appeal to old New Yorkers by instituting variations on worthless, arbitrary Steinbrenner team rules.  And if that is indeed the Marlins’ intent, at least they took a small step toward reason by allowing goatees.  But Rockiescast remains staunchly opposed to any rules restricting the free growth of facial hair by anyone.  After all, if Eric Gagne had resurfaced with the Marlins instead of the Brewers a couple of years ago, he would have been deprived the greatest accomplishment of his career!

After an epic battle that saw Jayson Werth outlast Nick Markakis for Beard of the Offseason, the first month of the regular season brought with it an unsettling lack of awesome facial hair, as far as we observed. Looking outside of the major league ranks, we found our Beard of the Month winner in an unusual place - in a rented Town & Country traveling the deep south along with Ted and Me on our recent baseball road trip. It was quite a shock to us, as previously clean-shaven friend of the show Andrew Dailey arrived in Atlanta with a mantastic beard, never having mentioned its growth prior to the trip. Just look at the difference in Andy’s appearance in the before and after pictures and you’ll know why we had no choice but to award Drew the April BotM Award.

Andy Dailey - Beardless and Hideous

Drew Dailey - Bearded and Beautiful

It’s encouraging to see that, with each passing year, the tradition of the playoff beard seems to be catching on in sports besides hockey. As Kylie pointed out in the blog comments recently, even the Denver Post has noticed the trend in the Rockies’ clubhouse.  I was also pleased to see that the Wikipedia entry for Playoff Beard mentions Rockies fans.  And we all know everything on Wikipedia has to be based in objective fact.^{[citation needed]}

The obvious downside of the playoff beard is that previous facial hair growth, no matter how handsome, must be shorn when the playoffs begin in order to start a proper playoff beard from scratch. So, it was with heavy heart that I purged my face of my recent tribute to Ryan Spilborghs‘ award winning Time-Travelling Conquistador beard. Hard as it was to take the razor to my face, I have no regrets.  Playoff glory isn’t free (Rocktober costs a buck-o-five).  And I can always console myself knowing that while my Spilly tribute is gone from my face, it will always live on in photographic record. So, as promised, here is how awesome my face looked for one fleeting moment in time:

Just a few days ago, I would have leaned towards the Cardinals’ Brendan Ryan for the September BotM. That would have been the second Cardinal this season to take home the much coveted title. Unfortunately for the young shortstop, there was some stiff competition for the September Beard of the Month.  Brendan “Old Timey” Ryan was just one of a trio of Cardinals, also including Jason LaRue Manchu and Ryan “June BotM” Franklin, that could have taken home the title.  There was a very solid, late effort put in by Joe Beimel.  When it comes to having awesome facial hair, as long as you are in the discussion you should consider yourself a winner, but alas, there can only be one Beard of the Month.

Not surprisingly, as he has been doing since joining the Rockies, Jason Giambi comes through with the game, or in this case the award, on the line. The Giambi Stache has proven to be a great compliment to Giambi Smash, a game that he likes to play when in the batter’s box. After time in the Yankees organization, where he was limited to a traditional (but still awesome) mustache, he has since passed through Oakland to ultimately make his way to a better place, where man and facial hair can live together in harmony. We certainly hope Jason will keep up the awesome work, both on his face and at the plate, as he helps pave the way to the best Rocktober yet.

It is with much relief that we present actual visual evidence that Ryan Spilborghs‘ Time-Travelling Conquistador beard of early August actually existed.  This oughta silence all of those Time-Travelling Conquistador deniers out there (mostly Giants and Dodgers fans).

Special thanks go out to Meredith for digging this up for the world to see.  So um…thanks, Meredith!  Her contributions to Rockies society don’t stop there though.  In 2007, Meredith won the Stitch n’ Pitch National Knitting Contest with a Rockies-themed sock pattern.  Word on the street is that everyone counted out Meredith’s pattern until it won 21 of 22, steamrolling the rest of the National League of Sock Patterns.  Her work was subsequently featured in the April 2008 issue of Rockies Magazine.  Some of you might actually have that issue kicking around, as it was the 2007 National League Champions issue.  Take a look for her feature…we’ll wait.

See…pretty impressive, huh?  Out of the kindness of her purple heart, Meredith offers that Rockies sock pattern and assorted other goodies free on her website: www.meredithknitting.com.

Great Scott!  This is unbelievably frustrating.  I’ve spent several hours now combing the Internet for visual evidence that Ryan Spilborghs‘ awesome beard from the early part of August was real.  It seems as though that work of art — which we like to call the Time-Travelling Conquistador – went totally uncaptured by still camera.  Needless to say, this is totally unacceptable.  I suppose we can take comfort in knowing that at least photo evidence of Spilly’s recent walk-off grand slam is all over the web.

Rockiescast is usually reluctant to award Beard of the Month honors to facial hair that can’t be displayed in a pretty little photo on the site.  However, nothing can stand in the way of Spilly’s work taking BotM honors for August.  If you saw it, you already know why.  It was one smooth length of mutton chop/mustache glory.

So this is an open call: If anyone has a photo of the Time-Travelling Conquistador, please send it our way.  Until we have a photo of the real BotM to post, please enjoy this photo essay…

Scott and I had a tough time picking this Beard of the Month. We had listener suggestions for two different beards, both making very strong cases for their respective candidates. Well, I suppose the beards made strong cases for themselves, but the suggestions translated the awesome-beardness into words very effectively. Lauren suggested Todd Helton on the merits of his recent efforts to grow his trademark mountain man goatee into a full mountain man beard. Meredith suggested Chad Gaudin for the Lincolnesque chinstrap he featured throughout the month of July. All else being equal, Rockiescast obviously would prefer Todd to Chad. We have very strong feelings about Todd. That’s nothing new.

What was new, however, was Todd’s full beard.  This ended up being the kicker. At month’s end, Todd’s beard status was somewhat ambiguous.  From afar, he looked to have an impressive mountain man beard engulfing his face. But up close (our favorite Helton vantage point), the patchiness of the cheek areas made it unclear whether Todd was in the process of growing the full beard or Todd was just too lazy to shave for a while (aka: the Beard Marquis).

Gaudin, on the other hand, seemed to maintain his chin beard with the BotM criteria in mind. It was already in full force when the month began, and Chad maintained a consistent look throughout the month. Then the calendar page flipped to August, and suddenly he was back to just a goatee. So Chad Gaudin’s beard was just a special July treat for baseball fans. And while it was here, it was indeed Special. Meredith was pretty accurate with her comparison of Gaudin’s beard to Abraham Lincoln’s. What really struck me though was Gaudin’s resemblance to Dwight’s cousin Mose from The Office. Take a look at the pictures accompanying this post and see if you are struck in the same fashion. Also, note how much more intimidating the Padres would be if they changed their name to the San Diego Fear! As an added bonus to the whole situation, Gaudin’s beard is red. While this always scores bonus beard points in my book, it serves a fantastic nickname purpose here. Combine the color of Gaudin’s beard with his resemblance to Mose, and voila…You’ve got Flaming Mose!

We turn our attention outside the Rockies Organization again for our June Beard of the Month.  Thankfully, this time we turn to a National League foe the Rockies have dominated so far this year and not a division rival.  So it is without reservation that we bestow the honor of June 2009 Rockiescast Beard of the Month upon Ryan Franklin’s broom chin.

As you can see here, his face makes a strong case for his candidacy.  Like other BotM recipients this season, Franklin’s beard has seen great success on the mound in 2009.  As of the time of this post, Franklin’s beard has a WHIP of 0.84 and an ERA of 0.84 in 32 innings this season.  Not surprisingly, those stats have earned this beautiful goatee a spot on the All-Star game to delight the home fans in St. Louis.  It’s a real chin-warming story.

We should also note that personal history also played a role in the decision to give Franklin’s beard BotM honors.  A quick search of the Internet for pictures of Ryan Franklin will turn up a handful of different decent facial hair configurations.  Rockiescast can’t help but respect a guy who is willing to try out so many looks and do it awesomely.  So Ryan Franklin, congratulations on having an award-winning broom on your face.

Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve been this excited about a Beard of the Month (the last time Spilly won).  That really says a lot, given that this time around we’re giving the honors to a Diamondback…bleccch.  So you know he really earned it.  Yes sir, other than the team he plays for, Clay Zavada seems to be a really likable ballplayer.  Thus far in his young career, he’s got eye-popping numbers, a lip-warming tale of tragedy and sacrifice, and a neck-snapping resemblance to Rollie Fingers.  And so the young hurler has once again overcome tremendous odds to succeed.  This time, despite playing for the wrong team, only being in the Bigs for the last 11 days of May, and not having a full beard, Clay Zavada is owner of Rockiescast’s May 2009 Beard of the Month.  He also takes the 2nd Annual Orlando Hudson Award for Guy on the Diamondbacks We Like.  Now if only we can get this guy in a different uniform.  I think he’d look smashing in purple.

We’re taking things in a slightly different direction for our first Beard of the Month for the 2009 regular season.  As you can see in this picture, Yovani Gallardo doesn’t have the most beautiful beard on the planet.  But that’s no reason for him to be ashamed.  The important thing is that he’s put forth the effort (or lack thereof) to join the ranks of the bearded.  And thus, Gallardo’s beard was along for the ride when he single-handedly defeated the Pirates on April 29.  Seriously, check out the box score from that affair.  Gallardo and his beard pitched 8 shutout innings and produced the only offense in the game with a solo homer.  Further evidence to back up what Scott and I have been saying for years: one beard is mightier than the entire Pittsburgh Pirates roster.  Suck it, various LaRoches!

The way things have been going for the Rockies’ starters recently, we could be in line for similar performances when the Rockies head to the Steel City this weekend.  Let’s just hope the DLR, the Cookie Monster, and Ubaldo have stopped shaving!